Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.
I saw you by that pool.
I thought you thought I was cool.
I felt a longing in my tool.
So dye your hair
Or change your name
Have your left arm surgically removed
No matter what you do
I’ll be in love with you.
Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.
You like corn, you like twelve,
You keep a pomade on your shelf
You’ve got a walnut like myself.
You’ve got grooves
And you’ve got shoes
And even though you lose your marbles
And you panic in a crisis I’m in love with you.
Pose was once your man but you scared him away.
Now your man is Dan (that’s me!)
And I am here to stay.
Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.
Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.
If you were blind in one eye, quadriplegic
Or if you lost all your teeth
So that I had to chew your food for you,
No matter what you do,
I’ll be in love with you!
New Lyrics 
